Tonight We Dine In Hell!
by iluvFLuffee123456
Summary: im so sorry about that lame title...but it fits so much! lOL  Damien is willing to give Pip whatever he wants for his birthday. But why does it have to be this?
1. Chapter 1

**Day in Hell**

By: Haley Schmidt

Authors note: im board...o well review if you like it!

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It was Pips 16th birthday, and Damien was willing to give his boy friend of two years any thing his pure heart desired. Except to meet his parents. Which, was of course all he wanted.

"Shit..." Damien muttered under his breath. Damien was worried that if Pip was to meet his father.. he would be, well, traumatized. I mean wouldn't you be scared of meeting Lucifer himself?

"Ell o Damien! I cant wait until tonight! Its not every day I get to eat dinner in hell is it?"Came the way to optimistic voice of Pip.

"Well not everyday for mortals...are you still sure that you even want to?" Damien really did want him to be happy but...come on! Seriously? Meeting Satan for your birthday? Not a car like a normal person?

"Yes. Why I would love to meet you parents Damien! This may sound strange, but I would love to meet their acquaintance. You're still allowing me to see them aren't

you?" Pips face fell at the thought.

"Of course...just...I'll pick you up at 7 OK? I need to clean up my house so your not...uh...scared shitless." Damien cringed at the thought of how Pips face would look like when he walked into the kitchen to be greeted by his parents chopping up bodies on the dining room table.

"OK!" Pip squealed like a preppy girl, kissed him on the cheak (he really had to reach for it because Damien was a foot taller the him) and ran to his car.

"k..." Damien sighed. Today was gonna be a long ass day.


	2. Chapter 2

_A.N:::lol heres chapter 2! review if you like it!_

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"Dad! What did I tell you about cleaning up! There is blood everywhere and Pips coming over in 30 minutes!" Damien face-palmed.

"Oh don't worry about it! Go get your boyfriend. I will clean everything up before you get back." Satan re-assured.

"Promise? Like I swear to god dad if its not clean when I get here I will brig the mother-fucking apocalypse!" Damien threatened.\

"Oh please! Just go get your boy-toy! Everything will be fine! Its not like me and your mother will try to eat him!"

"Damien! There you are! I just got done helping Kenny back to South Park! So are you gonna go get Pippers?" Came the eerily nice voice of Lidia ( Damien's mother) .

"Yea. So help dad clean up! I will be back in 30 minutes! NOT ONE FUCKING SECOND SOONER! So don't murder anyone while i'm gone. OK?" Damien lectured his parents.

"Yea yea we got it." Lidia rolled her eyes.

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As Damien walked to Pips house, he started to get increasingly worried for Pips life. His parents wouldn't hurt Pip...would they? No. Damien wouldn't allow it. Pip will remain safe for his whole life and after life.

"Hey Damien! Just on time, as always! Heheheh." Pip dissolved into giggles.

"Only for you babe." Damien smirked at Pips blush.

"Well...how exactly do we get to hell anyways?" Pip asked sheepishly.

"Well...close your eyes." Pip did as he was told. "Now open them." Pip gasped at the sight of a beautiful lake of lava.

"So...this...this is hell?" Pip asked breathlessly.

"Yep."

"I always expected...more screams of terror and blood." Pip looked dumbfounded.

"There is. But just not on this lair of hell. Its the royal lair. All the screaming would get annoying after a while don't you think?"

"I suppose..."

"Well lets go inside shall we?" Damien held his breath as he turned to handle, expecting the worst.


	3. Chapter 3

As Damien slowly opened the door of his home, or rather castle, he was greeted by a sparkly clean living room. Pips eyes widened with amazement at the huge flat screen TV that was in front of a very out-of-place, pink sofa.

"Pink?" Pip held back laughter as he pointed at the couch.

"Yea. Dads favorite color." Damien rolled his eyes at his fathers weakness.

"I think its a rather darling sofa." Pip said, causing Damien to fake gag all over, causing Pip to laugh hysterically.

"Well hello. You must be Pip, correct?" Pip chocked on his laughter as he saw a huge red, sharp toothed, pointy eared demon, with goat legs. Much like Damien, except without the redness and half goat stuff, Pip thought.

"No reason to be afraid dear." Came the re-assuring voice of Damien's mother. "Oh. Allow me to introduce us. I am Damiens mother, Lydia, and this is his father Satan."

"But you can call me Lucifer." Sata-erm...Lucifer winked at the red faced brit.

" Well come on boys, dinner is almost done." Lydia hurried to destroy the awkward silence.

"Sounds great!" Pip chimed.

"Well...how did you like my parents?" Damien couldn't hide the anxiousness in his voice.

"They were most lovely if I do say so myself.. And excellent cooks as well. Pip struggled to make eye contact with Damien as he said this, for he was in Damiens bed in the dark.

"Well I'm glad you like them." Damien relaxed knowing this." But I have one more surprise for you." Pip had to adjust his eyes to the light that Damien had turned on.

"Really? What is it." Pip grew curious.

Hold on one sec.!" Damien said as he ran out of the room. He came back holding a two-foot tall box (with, surprisingly, the greatest of ease) and put it on the ground in front of him.

"Well...Go on open it!" Damien gave his demented puppy eyes.

Pip hesitated to open it when he saw that...the box kinda moved. But Pip figured that it couldn't hurt him, and he was awfully curious... So he ripped the bow off, causing the top of the box to fall down, revealing its contents.

Why it was a...a...a...

"Dragon?" Pip questioned out loud.

"Yea. Hatched just the other day! You can name it too!" Damien was positively beaming. "Unless...you don't like it?"

"Oh Damien! I love it! Is it a boy or girl? If I'm going to name it, I need to know the gender."

"Boy." Damien smiled sweetly.

"Well, I'll name him..." Pips deep-in-thought face was clearly present, trying to pick just the right name. "Dagger!" His eyes sparkled.

"I think that's a perfect name." Damien murmured, holding Pip in a tight embrace.

"Coming from the most perfect being."


End file.
